The Sound of Failure
by Let's Get Lost
Summary: Ellie's life is perfect until she meets a guy at a party and falls into a downward spiral.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Elle!"

Ellie Nash is browsing CDs at Tower Records. She is looking at the new Beck CD when she hears a familiar voice call her name. She abruptly turns around and faces Jesse.

"Hey babe!" Elle responds.

She reaches around his neck and embraces him and he gives her an awkward peck on the cheek.

"You told me on the phone that you wanted to tell me something?" Ellie asks, playing with her hair.

"Ellie Nash, are you ready to party?" Jesse says, handing her a flyer which says "The best party of the year!" and "Free beer!" Elle laughs,

"Hell yes!" She gives Jesse another hug.

"Be ready around 10, okay? I'll pick you up. I'm going to go work on the paper, I'll see you tonight!"

Ellie kisses Jesse and he smiles and walks towards his car. She buys "The Information" by Beck and she is still smiling when she catches the bus home.

"What are you so happy about?" Marco asks Ellie as she enters the house.

"Oh, nothing.. Other then Jesse inviting me to a party tonight! An actual real college party!" Ellie Jumps up and down with delight.

"That's great, Elle!" Marco squealed.

"I know! But what should I wear?"

"It's time to go shopping!" Marco exclaims and squeezes Ellie.

Ellie buys a risqué corset top and a mini skirt that barely covers her thighs. She buys lacey panties. Fishnet stockings and black heels. They go home and Ellie puts on her new outfit for Marco.

"You look gorgeous!" He exclaims. Ellie twirls for Marco and he gleefully giggles.

"Really? Thanks Marco!" Ellie puts on dark red lipstick and black eye makeup. She leaves her hair down and tousled. It is now a quarter to 10. She paints her nails black and showers herself in vanilla bean perfume. She is talking to Ashley online when the doorbell rings.

"Ellie, Jesse's here!" Marco shouts.

"I'm coming!" Ellie checks her hair and walks down the stairs.

Dylan, Marco and Jesse wait at the bottom and Ellie walks into Jesse's arms. She kisses him romantically.

"Damn, you're beautiful!" Jesse says.

"Let's go," Ellie smiles and takes his hand. She leads him out the door.

"Have fun kids," Dylan grins and he puts his arm around Marco.

Like it? Don't like it? Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Jesse pulls up to a large house. A dozen or so people are on the porch, drinking and flirting. Jesse grabs Ellie's hand and leads her to the door.

"Jesse!" A young guy, twenty or so calls Jesse over. He has black hair that touches his shoulders and he is sitting on a bench with a lady in his lap who is clearly out of it. He takes a drag from his cigarette as Ellie and Jesse walk over.

"Hey Steve. This is Ellie." Jesse introduces them. Ellie smiles and waves.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Steve puts out his hand and Ellie shakes it. He grins and winks at her.

"Ay, ay.. Don't you go stealing my man.." The nearly passed out girl rolls off of the bench and falls to the ground, reaching too far for her beer. She lay at Ellie's feet mumbling obscenities and taking a swig from her bottle.

"Well.. I ought to do something about her. Have fun guys." Ellie and Jesse walk away while Steve tries to help his friend get back up.

"He seems nice," Ellie says, putting her hand in Jesse's back pocket.

"All college guys seem nice, Elle. They just want to get into your pants. Trust me, you don't want to get involved with Steve." Jesse put his arm around Ellie and she pushed him away.

"So do you just want to get into my pants?" Ellie opens the door and pushes angrily through the crowd of people while Jesse trails behind her.

"No, no Ellie! I didn't mean it like that." She turns around.

"Elle, I was just upset. I saw the way he looked at you. I don't want him to take advantage of you, that's all." Jesse took Ellie's hand and led her to the kitchen, where they get beers and they go into the other room and sit on the couch.

"I don't want to get with him. I have you and that's all I want. If you think that I'm going to get with other guys than maybe we shouldn't be dating because you obviously don't know me, I'm not like that." Flustered, Ellie swallows her beer in one chug. She picks up an abandoned can off the ground and downs it quickly as well.

"I do trust you Elle. I'm sorry. It's just I know Steve, he's a really manipulative guy." Jesse takes a sip from his beer and puts his arm around Ellie. She rests her head on his shoulder and kissed him hard.

"Well I can be a really manipulative girl. We're perfect for each other." She laughed, taking Jesse's drink and consuming all of it. She tries to kiss Jesse again but he backs away.

"You know I was just kidding." She pouts her lips and Jesse gives in, pecking her softly.

"Come on Jesse." Ellie takes his hand and leads him to the kitchen, where she gets some more alcohol and starts drinking again. Worried, Jesse puts his arms around Ellie and whispers in her ear.

"Elle, you've been drinking pretty fast. You might want to slow down."

"Excuse me? I can handle myself, thanks." Ellie finishes off her beer quickly and gets another. She takes a couple of sips and she starts crying.

"What's wrong, Elle?" Jesse kisses Ellie on the cheek and holds her close to him.

"My mom was an alcoholic and I saw her ruin her life. I do _not _want to be her."

"No Elle, you're not at all like her. You're a wonderful girl. You're smart, kind and beautiful."

"No I'm not. Look at me. This is not what I want to happen. You're so wonderful Jesse. You deserve better than a fuck up like me." Ellie wipes a tear from her eye, Jesse massaging her back.

"Let's go upstairs. Come on." Ellie grabs Jesse and giggles and runs up the stairs, suddenly ecstatic and wanting more. Jesse follows, and he was led into an empty bedroom with Ellie jumping up and down on the bed.

"Wee! Play with me, Jesse!" Ellie jumps on the bed, Jesse, utterly confused, stood beneath her.

"You're no fun." Ellie sits down on the edge of the bed and Jesse sits down next to her.

"I'm such a wreck, Jesse." Ellie pushes him against the bed, kissing him more and more each time. She pulls his Velvet Underground shirt off over his head.

"Your body is amazing." She is starting to work her way down his body when he pushes her off.

"Ellie, are you sure this is what you want?" Jesse sits up, concerned.

"Are you kidding me? Yes!"

"I'm sorry. I can't do this Elle. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you." Jesse reaches over and takes his shirt back, putting it over his head and walking towards the door. Ellie, repulsed, throws a pillow at Jesse, who ignores her and makes his way downstairs.

Crying in her hands, Ellie tries to take in what just happened. She tries to think of why he would reject her like that. She's so deep in thought she doesn't realize that Steve has just walked into the room.

"Hey, Ellie, right? What's wrong?" He sits next to her and puts his arm around her. Looking for a shoulder to cry on, all she wanted was somebody that cares. She buries her head in Steve's shoulder and puts her arms around him.

"Jesse's a jerk." Ellie takes her head off of Steve and looks in his eyes. He looks concerned; he looks caring, affectionate, kind.

"What did he do to you? Did he.. Try to get you to do something you don't want to?" Jesse rubs Ellie's back.

"More like the other way around." Ellie stares at Jesse somewhat lustfully.

"What? Why? Is he gay?" Jesse laughs a little, Ellie smiles, now looking at him passionately. She kisses him and he kisses her back.


	3. Chapter 3

Ellie wakes to a loud pounding on the door.

"Steve? Steve, I know you're in there. Open the damn door Steve!" Ellie moans, wipes her forehead, she rolls over and sees Steve; he puts his hand over her mouth.

"Hide in the closet," he whispers quietly and gently pushes her towards the closet, Ellie, now out of bed realizes she is naked and blushes, and hides like she was told. Steve puts on boxers and a shirt and opens the door.

"Hey babe, did you enjoy the party? You passed out early, I carried you to the guest room." Ellie watches through the crack in the door and recognizes the girl as the same one from before, the drunk girl in Steve's lap.

"Quit the bull, Steve. Where is she? I heard you two banged last night. You and that whore Jesse came with." It takes all Ellie's effort not to go smack this girl in the face. She's looking in the bathroom; under the bed, and she's close to the closet; Ellie feels her heart beat faster as the girl comes near.

"Come on, Rachel. Nobody else is in here with me. You saw that girl; she was mad ugly, I'd never tap that." Ellie silently starts crying. Not only was she a whore but the guy she slept with just called her ugly. Rachel backs away from the closet and smiles happy with Steve's reply. She kissed him and heads out.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I should trust you. I've got work, I'll see you tomorrow." Rachel left, Steve comes over to find Ellie crying.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He puts his arms around Ellie's waist and Ellie won't look at him.

"Not only am I a whore, but I'm mad ugly, too? Is that what you really think of me?" Ellie stares down at her bare feet. Toenails painted black, manicured and fancy, just for Jesse, who made her want to be perfect, who so unkindly like rejected her.

"Come on, Elle, you know I just said all that so she'd leave. Come back to bed, it's only 8 in the morning." He winks and smiles nervously.

"How do I know you're not lying to me if I saw you so blatantly lie to her? Who are you being honest to? I don't even know you Steve, how am I suppose to trust you?" Ellie looks straight into his eyes.

"We have all day to get to know each other. I'll take you out for some coffee." Steve lifts her off of her feet, she's still naked.

"Come on. You can wear my clothes. I hope they aren't too large." He hands her plaid boxers, a pair of jeans and a "The Who" shirt, all of which are a bit too large on her. Her pants fall down, they have a giggly moment and he hands her a belt.

Steve drives Ellie to The Dot where they drink mochas and chat. Ellie starts feeling like Steve really likes her and less of like a one-night stand. Steve leaves to go to the bathroom, Ellie is fixing her makeup at her table and Jay walks in.

"Hey Elle!" He comes over and sits with her where Steve was previously sitting.

"Um.. If you don't mind, I was here with a friend." Ellie says nervously, hoping Jay would move.

"Right, right. Your point is?" Jay takes a sip from Steve's mocha.

"Well, erm, he was sitting there."

"And I should care because? I just want to have a chat with my good friend Ellie. I saw you at Steve's party last night." Jay leans in closer and whispers to Ellie, "I didn't know you were in with that crowd." He leans back and smirks a bit.

"What crowd?"

"You know. Steve's crowd. Don't trust those people, Elle. I know you listen to my advice but you should for once." Jay tries to look serious.

"Whatever, Jay. Steve's nice. He won't hurt me, he's my friend. I like him, okay? You're just jealous I've found someone who really likes me and you're still alone, like always." Ellie is getting irritated and itches the back of her head.

"You're going to get screwed up if you hang with them. Steve and I go back, Elle. Far back. Pill popping, needle pushing.." Jay stops talking when Steve walks out of the bathroom and gets out of Steve's chair.

"Jay, my man!" Steve grins, shiny white teeth, at Jay, Jay smiles back and glances cautiously at Ellie.

"Hey Steve. You here with Elle?"

"Yeah, she's great isn't she?" Steve stands next to Ellie and puts his arm around her, holding her close. Sean walks in and glances at Jay, who nods and walks towards him.

"She really is, man. Be careful with her, see you guys around." Jay and Sean sit at a table near the other side of The Dot, occasionally glancing over at her and Steve.

"Let's get out of here, huh, Elle?" They walk out, holding hands, Ellie happy but worried. What was Jay talking about?


	4. Chapter 4

-1"Where are we going?" Ellie and Steve have just left The Dot and are driving in Steve's car.

"Where do you want to go, babe?" Steve smiles happily at Ellie, who smiles happily back.

"Wherever. I have class at eleven, but Jesse will be there, so screw it."

"Ooh, Elle, you're a rebel now." Steve jokes, Ellie punches him lightly in the shoulder. He laughs.

"Want to go to the movies?" Steve asks, lighting a clove cigarette and offering one to Ellie, who kindly accepts; she'd only smoked once before, but she wants Steve to think she's cool. She's surprised, clove cigarettes are a new concept to her; she embraces the sweet tasting smoke in her mouth.

"I'd love to. Let's go see some cheesy chick flick at the cheap dollar theater." Ellie laughs at her own peppiness and takes a drag from her cigarette, trying not to choke and look professional. Obviously she's trying to hard, she's very focused and Steve giggles a little than covers his mouth, as of not to embarrass her.

"Okay, but only if we can make out the whole time." Ellie punches him in the shoulder again and he laughs.

"Listen babe, I need to make a quick stop. Stay in the car and make sure the doors are locked." Steve pulls into the driveway of a small, one floor house. The windows are boarded up and the door seems to be falling off the hinges. Steve gets out of the car and grabs a bag from the back seat.

"I'll only be a minute, hon. Don't worry." Steve blows kisses at Ellie and walks to the front door. He leaves the car running, a sure sign he won't leave for long, but Ellie is still curious and barely catches a glimpse of whoever is inside. Steve disappears and Ellie sits patiently for a minute or so; she turns on the radio and finishes her cigarette. Eventually her curiosity gets to her and she opens the glove compartment.

A bag of weed and a few syringes fall in Ellie's lap. She gasps at what she finds and understands fully what Jay was warning her about; Steve is a drug dealer. No wonder he can afford such a big house for himself and he's so popular. She sits for a minute, dumbfounded, drugs in her lap. She doesn't know what to do; she sees the door open again and Steve is on his way out. She shoves everything back in the glove compartment and smiles at him when he comes in the car, frightened.

"Sorry about that. Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost." Steve tries to peck Ellie on the lips but she doesn't respond.

"I'm fine, but I really think I should be going to class. I mean, I'm in college now and it's my responsibility. Could you just drive me up to campus? We can go to the movies later tonight, maybe." Ellie tries to remain casual but her voice is trembling. Steve looks at her and sighs.

"Elle, what's wrong? I can tell when a girl's worried."

"Steve, what's this all about? Who's house is this? Who'd you just go and see? What'd you see them about? Why was Jay warning me about you?"

"Hey, Ellie. Chill. Listen, do you really want me to explain all of this? I mean, do you really, really want me to."

"Yeah, I really do. I want to know what's going on. Who are you? What do you want from me?" A tear runs down Ellie's cheek. Steve tries to wipe it off, but Ellie slaps his hand off of her face.

"Listen Elle, listen good, okay? I sell some stuff. Stuff that makes people happy and it makes people feel better and it's not as bad as society makes it sound. Ellie, really, listen to me. You can't judge something you've never tried." Steve tries to put his arm on Ellie's leg.

"Are you trying to get me to do drugs? Right here, in the driveway to this crack house? Just take me home, I can't deal with you or any of this. I need to get away." Steve starts up the car and pulls out of the driveway, they drive for a couple of minutes in silence.

"If you want to get away Elle, I can take you on a real trip."

"You're an inconsiderate bastard, Steve! Let me out of this goddamn car!" Ellie opens the car door and unbuckles her seatbelt.

"Are you insane?" Steve hits the breaks and Ellie jolts out of the passenger seat. She rolls in the grass on the side of the road, and lays on her back for a minute, crying and cursing at the air. Steve pulls the car over and lay next to her. He takes a joint out of his pocket.

"Smoke this. It'll make everything better." At this point, Ellie has given up on everything. She's given up on trying to find a guy who cares about her and given up on Jesse, she's given up on herself, and with that she takes a drag from the joint and laughs at how screwed up her life is.


End file.
